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There is an expression, be careful what you wish for. I’ll finish it by saying – because it might bite you on the bum. Many people complained about the Government dictated fuel consumption figures. I’ve discussed this on many occasions. The figures don’t reflect fuel consumption in the real world, whatever that is.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

The figures are measured in near perfect conditions using a rolling road in a temperature controlled room etc. But whilst the conditions don’t reflect what you would encounter in the centre of Brighton or any other city come to that nor do they reflect the conditions you would encounter on the M6, north of Birmingham on a Tuesday afternoon.

The point is that it is impossible to simply come up with a ‘real world’ fuel consumption figure. What Car may seem to think that it is possible and as a result publish ‘Real World’ combined fuel consumption figures but they are simply rubbish. I drove to Birmingham twice within a week. I felt that I was driving pretty much the same.

There was a small hold up around the M25 near Heathrow on one of the trips but other than that the traffic seemed pretty much the same and I was travelling at a pretty steady speed. The big difference was that on one trip the sun was shining and the conditions were dry, on the other it was hissing down. The result was 50.9 on the first trip and 44.1 on the second.

Now according to the handbook the combined fuel consumption should have been about 60mpg but I never expected to achieve that. What it enabled me to do was compare different cars knowing that one car would return a better fuel consumption than the other without knowing exactly how they would compare in the ‘Real World’.

So to my mind whilst the results are far from what I would expect to achieve, especially the way I drive, the Government figures make the most out of a bad situation. But here’s the crunch. In 2017 the EU is pushing for a new emissions test to be introduced. In addition to emissions the test will include fuel consumption checks which experts say will better reflect real world figures.

Now this may be great if you want what some would consider to be more accurate fuel consumption figures but the change to the way that cars are tested could show CO2 emission figures up to 30% higher increasing the benefit in kind tax for company car drivers by as much as 35% (no I’m not going daft it’s to do with the CO2 banding).

Car tax will also increase as will Class 1a NI contributions by employers. It is clear that the current testing system needed reviewing (currently the New European Driving Cycle – NEDC)  because, for example when testing the cars all fuel consuming gadgets are switched off, such as lights, air conditioning etc. and whilst 10% of the test time has the vehicle idling the figures don’t reflect the new stop/start technology. But with greater fuel consumption accuracy, as is expected with the introduction of the Worldwide Harmonised Light-duty Test Procedures (WLTP), comes the bite on the bum. You have been warned. By Graham Hill

As the new rules imposed upon consumers and small businesses via lenders by the new Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) start to take affect there is a worrying undercurrent starting to gather momentum. Earlier this year I was in a meeting with directors of one of the biggest lenders in the car finance industry.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

I asked what they believed the effect would be of the forthcoming FCA regulations and the rules that had started to filter through. Their response was, at the time, quite dismissive. They pointed out that they had been in the motor finance industry since 1959 and by now they actually knew how to underwrite a customer.

Whilst they weren’t prepared to share actual numbers with me they explained that the amount of delinquency was minimal (that’s the amount of defaults and arrears) and it was certainly manageable so the idea of a Government body telling them what they needed to look out for when underwriting a customer was frankly – ludicrous!

The idea that you needed to carry out some strange affordability tests and have copies of umpteen bills and proofs was simply several steps too far. We all had a bit of a laugh, a cup of tea and a chocolate Hob Nob before moving onto the next item for discussion.

Fast forward a couple of months and that same company is suddenly asking for more information, copies of tax returns, 3 months bank statements and a tree’s worth of paperwork to prove the person is who they say they are. So what has happened? Fines, that’s what has happened.

The lenders who are new to the rules of the FCA have been told that if they don’t tow the line they will be fined – and I mean FINED! Last year the FSA and FCA dished out £472 million in fines, even what many would consider to be minor breaches attracted fines measured in tens of thousands of pounds. So suddenly lenders have had a wake up call and who suffers?

Other than brokers like me, the customers – that’s you! Let me give you an unbelievable example, traditionally lawyers have been extremely low risk applicants as they generally operate as partners which means that all of their personal assets are on the line when taking out finance.

In a recent application, out of 5 partners 4 had houses worth over £1 million and not one had a mortgage, the fifth had a house worth £800,000 with a £200,000 mortgage on it. The company had been trading over 20 years and neither the company nor the partners had a blemish against them.

Perfect you would think. Ohhh no, we even had last 3 months bank statements available showing a balance never less than £70,000 but their year end is September so the last accounts to be completed were for September 2013, which had not been finalised so the last audited accounts available were 2012, too old for the lender, or should I say the FCA when testing for affordability.

The lender then wanted management accounts, which the company doesn’t run. As the senior partner pointed out, they make obscene amounts of money, as explained by their accountants once a quarter, so why would they need to know how much they spent on paper clips or stamps? So no accounts dated within the last 12 months and no management accounts – customer declined.

After appeal we managed an acceptance but with a much larger initial rental to which the customer said no – or words to that effect. The times are certainly changing and in my opinion – not for the better. But the real reason for writing this piece is to warn you if you are due to arrange finance for a new car.

First of all forget the fact that you have had finance before, many funders now ignore that totally, you will be treated as a brand new customer. Make sure that you prepare for finance as I explain in my book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide (available on Amazon), make sure that your last 3 months bank statements are looking good and if they don’t, wait till they do and make sure there are no returned (bounced cheques/direct debits) items on the statements, that would be a straight decline.

logo of FCA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Get a copy of your credit report and see what it says, make sure there are no mistakes on there, it is simple enough and that extra bit of preparation could be the difference between getting a car or not. Oh and use a proper broker that can make sure that he can help you along the process, you often only have one shot at finance so don’t let a bucket shop blow it for you. By Graham Hill

Whilst customers make lease decisions based on headline rates and will argue over 50pence per month there is increased pressure on dealers to save money in order to provide reduced on the road costs. One of life’s irritations for me and some customers is the removal of carpet mats from the standard spec of some executive cars in order to reduce costs.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

The problem then is – do you go to the main dealer and pay up to £180 for a set of mats or nip down to Halfords for a set of one size fits all mats at less than a quarter of the price but with the Halfords mats not fitting as well as the manufacturer’s tailored mats? The answer is neither. A company called Richbrook have brought out a range of tailored mats to fit more than 17,000 models of car.

Buyers can select from a range of colours, patterns, piping and textures to match their car. The range also includes 3mm thick rubber mats. All mats come in a set of 4 and are finished with a backing of abrasive rubber to prevent movement. Model specific fixing points can be added if required. The cost just £39.99. You can see them online at www.richbrook.co.uk Definitely my product of the week. By Graham Hill

As I write this on a beautiful bank holiday Monday I see out of my kitchen window several neighbours with their hosepipe, bucket and sponge to hand doing that most tedious of jobs, washing the car. Well if the experiments being carried out by Nissan are successful this mundane weekend job may well be a thing of the past.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

They are currently testing a ‘self clean’ paint on a prototype Nissan Note which the makers claim is resistant to rain and dirt. The coating is sold by Florida based company, UltraTech International Inc. It works by repelling water and oils, creating a protective layer of air. Yes you did read that correctly they claim to create a layer of air.

For me that is one step too far, how on earth does it create a layer of air? Confused the hell out of me but no doubts someone will get back to me with an amazing answer based on chemical reactions or the pull of the moon against gravity. The real test will be whether at the end of the trials the car is still clean or not.

So far the tests have gone well, according to Nissan, the only manufacturer to apply the nano-paint to date. According to reports Nissan will make this an aftermarket option should the tests go well. What?

How to you make paint an aftermarket option? Carpet mats are an aftermarket option, a tow bar is an aftermarket option, things that the dealer can fit once the car is built are aftermarket options. Are they considering re-spraying the car with Nano Paint after the car has arrived at the dealership? Is it my age???? By Graham Hill

Related articles

• Nissan shows self-cleaning car coated in nano paint (autoblog.com)

I have never had a particularly high opinion of insurance companies, not helped by the refusal of Zurich, probably the most crooked insurance company that I have ever encountered, not paying out on a perfectly valid claim when I accidentally spilled a bottle of Lucozade into my laptop computer.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

They conveniently retained no copy of the original conversation that I had with the claims person, then produced a scrappy piece of handwritten paper considered to be a ‘transcript’ of our conversation which was a complete fabrication and actually a disgrace and fraudulent in itself.

This didn’t compare well to the transcript provided by Saga of the conversations I had when I took out my policy. The transcript was independently created, word by word, by an outside agency and the script went on for many pages. I was accused of fraud in the most ridiculous of fashions. I complained to the Financial Ombudsman service.

In the first instance an adjudicator reviews the case and gives an interim decision. This is not legally binding but gives an indication as to what the Ombudsman would conclude. On two separate occasions the adjudicator found in my favour and twice the crooked Zurich refused to accept the obvious conclusion reached by the adjudicator.

Finally after two and a half years, yes I said two and a half years the Financial Ombudsman was able to review my case and immediately found in my favour, instructing Zurich to remove all references to fraud or any other references to ill doing on my part from all files. To pay for the replacement of my damaged laptop and compensation along with interest.

Whilst, in my opinion, Zurich are the worst insurance company on the planet, they are probably not alone. A recent report showed that the average car insurance policy runs for 18,000 words taking the average driver over an hour to read. Whilst insurers would claim that they are making sure they cover all eventualities, the cynics, me included, would simply say that they are including as many reasons as possible in order to decline an insurance claim.

According to Fairer Finance, the creators of the report, Endsleigh had the biggest policy containing 37,674 words, more than George Orwell’s classic, Animal Farm. Sheila’s Wheels were next with 32,860 words followed by Esure at 32,631 words. LV was by far the lowest at 6,901 words with next best being Nationwide at 9,302 words.

Fairer Finance are running a campaign to remove unnecessary small print in insurance policies. In order to make the point they analysed over 40 insurance policies, coming up with the average number of words. I agree with them, finance documents have already been scrutinised to keep them simple so applying the same rules to insurance policies is way overdue.

73 percent of people admit to not reading their insurance documents whilst only 17 percent admit to reading and understanding their policies. The conclusion reached by Fairer Finance was that paper is being wasted and raises the question why one company can have a policy of just 7,000 words whilst another uses 5 times as many words to say the same thing.

The Plain English Campaign said that the findings which revealed that some policies were longer than a major novel is a disgrace. A spokesman went on to say, ‘It is difficult to see that this is anything other than a cynical ploy, designed to confuse and frustrate the customer.’

I would go further and say that the longer the policy the more likely they have included obstacles to meeting  legitimate claims. Avoid them and also avoid Zurich who are incompetent crooks. Let’s see what they have to say when they read this, I still have all the evidence – give it your best shot you idiots! Oh and this isn’t the end – this is just the beginning!

That’s why I respectfully accepted the findings of the Ombudsman but refused the proposals as the compensation after 2 and a half years was insufficient. If you have had a claim with Zurich refused please let me know, whether it is car related or not. By Graham Hill

Related articles

• Car insurer small print can be longer than Animal Farm, study shows (theguardian.com)

Oh dear oh dear oh dear! That was me uttering under my breath as I slip on my Mr Grumpy hat. I just read about a Fiat driver who took his car into an independent garage to diagnose a problem. The problem was a faulty turbo unit.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

The garage called a Fiat dealer and was given the price of the replacement re-conditioned part as £399 which the customer agreed to pay. However, when the part arrived it also arrived with a bill for £542 with no explanation, an increase of £140. The independent garage said that they would have to pass on the increase but provided no explanation.

After querying it Fiat explained the increase by saying, ‘Many components are improved and upgraded over time but, on this occasion, it seems the old unit was still on the system, even though it was no longer available, hence the different price.’ However, no doubt as a gesture of goodwill the customer was given £150 worth of vouchers to be used against service costs and parts over the next 12 months.

What a load of bull poo! First of all why are dealers and manufacturers so crooked and secondly why are customers so bloody naïve? There is such a thing as the Sale of Goods Act that protects buyers of goods and an Office of Fair Trading from whom you can get advice and support so why are people writing into magazines and newspapers who guess at the answers to legal problems?

Let me explain the situation we have here. Don’t confuse this transaction with walking into a shop and buying something on the shelf that has a price ticket attached. The price ticket has nothing to do with the contract of sale it is what is known as ‘An Invitation To Treat’.

The shopkeeper is not obliged to sell the item to you at the price on the ticket. It is a suggestion, you then make an offer to buy the goods at the price on the ticket and the shopkeeper normally accepts. If the shopkeeper has made a mistake when pricing his goods he doesn’t have to sell it to you at the mistaken price.

That is a fact! However, this isn’t the case with respect to the turbo unit. The independent garage entered into a contract with a Fiat dealer to supply a part for a car. The dealer agreed to supply the part and the garage agreed to pay £399 for the part, in turn agreed with the customer. That’s it, end of story, turn out the lights on your way out!

If either party fails to perform then they are in breach of contract and the aggrieved party can seek compensation. In this case, if the dealer agreed to supply a part that no longer existed that was his problem not the garage that ordered the part or the customer. If, in order to perform their part of the contract, the dealer had to supply a more expensive item he has to suffer the loss, not the garage or in turn the customer.

This is absolutely ridiculous and Fiat probably know that this is the case but have screwed the customer – it’s simply not on. When will the car industry start to act honourably but more important when will consumers wise up? Oooh I get so angry! By Graham Hill

Whilst catching up on some of the stranger things to come out of the budget I noticed that the pound coin is about to change. Well when I say ‘about’ I mean in 2017 when it will be launched. I have seen the design and if you are as old as me you will immediately think of the thrupney piece.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

It’s the usual bronze colour but it has 12 sides and has been described by the Rotal Mint as the most secure in the world. However the new design comes at a cost as all vending machines will have to be modified at a cost. According to the British Parking Association, the cost to local authorities of the modification to their parking metres will be £50 million alone.

However, they also said that this will give the authorities the opportunity to upgrade their machines to also accept credit/debit cards at the same time. The move has been instigated by the Treasury because 4% of all £1 coins in circulation are counterfeit and this is already costing local authorities a fortune as banks refuse to accept them.

Personally I’m confused as I can’t see that making the £1 coin 12 sided makes it any less capable of being replicated. If there was some hidden ingredient in the metal that made it detectable I could understand it but it’s a lump of metal that has either been stamped out or forged (that’s metal forged not as in illegally forged – oh you know what I mean).

Royal Mint X Mirai Suenaga (Photo credit: Danny Choo)

So I can’t see how it will stop the crooks? Obviously the Royal Mint knows more about these things than me! By Graham Hill

Related articles

• Forging into the future: Royal Mint is combining history with technology (dailymail.co.uk)

I actually invented the domestic smoke detector. It’s absolutely true, I was working in a large fire alarm company called Sound Diffusion at the time. They sold their equipment for cash although most was leased and hence this is where my background in leasing started.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

After chatting to an engineer about our smoke detectors that all had to be hard wired into a central control panel I found out that the amount of electricity required to maintain a detector on standby was incredibly small. In the first instance whilst doodling one day I came up with a light bulb that above the light was a smoke detector.

I then ‘developed’ the idea further to a battery driven unit. I showed our chairman at the time and it was dismissed as not saleable. He explained that consumers never expect catastrophes to happen, ‘it always happens to the next door neighbour, not to us.’ was his conclusion. A year later a company brought out a stand alone smoke detector for £29.99 and a matter of months later Black and Decker brought out theirs for £9.99.

In the words of Del Boy I could have been a millionaire! So why have I explained my flair for coming up with amazing ideas? Well I have just been reading about the latest announcement regarding electric cars. A series of quick charge units have opened up across the centre of the country, referred to as the Milton Keynes Crosslink.

There are 14 of these charging points capable of charging a car in 20 minutes, located in Cambridge, Bedford, Milton Keynes, Buckingham and Oxford. Now I don’t know about you but I still wouldn’t feel comfortable relying upon these points to get me home in the same way that I might hope to find a service station open at 11.00 at night.

And frankly I don’t consider 20 minutes as a fast charge when I can fill my car up with diesel in 2 minutes. So have we really found the answer to the problem? I don’t think so! Hence my invention! Don’t laugh! First of all it requires all batteries that are used in electric cars to be standardised in terms of size. We also need standard fittings into which a battery could be slotted into close to the ground (the batteries are bloody heavy).

You then enter a drive through bay and with the speed and precision of a group of F1 mechanics someone comes out with a trolley type jack and removes the fitted battery whilst making a note of the electricity reading on a visible dial on the outside of the battery. A freshly charged battery is is then slid into place, locked in place and the car is good to go.

The car drives up to a payment booth, pays for the electricity that he has used, as shown on the old battery, and he is good to go. If the F1 mechanics are anything to go by a driver could be through in about 5 seconds. There you go problem solved! Oh and the old battery goes straight back on charge on a rack of fast chargers. Brilliant or what? By Graham Hill

I remember years ago whilst training as an accountant an economics professor saying never assess what the Chancellor is saying at the dispatch box when announcing the budget because the devil is in the detail and the detail is in the small print. And so itr was with the latest budget.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

Whilst company car drivers seemed to have been left alone whilst benefitting from fuel duty freeze in the small print was the ‘leaving alone’ of a previous announcement that benefit in kind (BIK) bands that kick in 12 months from now will continue to 2017 and 2018 tax years. This is the increase of 2 percentage points for each tax band per annum.

So by 2018 the BIK tax applied to cars with a CO2 emission of 76-94g/km will be 19% of the car’s P11D value. So much for looking after the motorist. In 2018 this will raise £240 million for the treasury with a further £480 million in 2019. Those that drive low emission cars will suffer the most as we will see cars under 51g/km dropping into the 13% band with 51-74g/km up to 16% by 2018.

And all this came after the Chancellor announced at the dispatch box that he is ‘increasing the discount for low-emission vehicle.’ I think it is about time for a re-think because this will take anyone currently considering an electric vehicle from a benefit in kind threshold of zero to 13% in 4 years. But it gets worse!

Because if you look at the cost of an electric vehicle compared with the equivalent petrol vehicle the BIK tax is horrendous. Take for example the Nissan Leaf, the Tekna version has an on the road figure, according to What Car of £30,490 before the Government subsidy is applied (and therefore the figure that BIK will be based upon).

Compare this with a Nissan Juke 1.6 petrol Juke, this costs £16,295, the Leaf is nearly twice the price. I seriously think that the government needs to think again about zero emission cars and the disincentive that this brings. By Graham Hill

Nissan Leaf at Tokyo Motor Show (RHD). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Over the years there have been many reports about claims management companies, otherwise known as ‘ambulance chasers’ allegedly paying off police, health staff and insurance staff for details of anyone involved in car accidents. They then contact the driver to see if he or his passengers suffered any personal injuries and offering to manage any claims, whether injuries were suffered or not.

Thinking of a change but unsure as to the best way to finance your car? Then you need a copy of my car finance book, Car Finance – A Simple Guide by Graham Hill. Click on the link below to buy the best car finance book on the market, available as a Kindle Book and Paper Back.

In extreme cases those involved in accidents have been ‘encouraged’ to make a personal injury claim after suggesting that a little bit of residual back pain could be whiplash. They also provide a management service including a hire car that is recharged to the insurance company.

You could often deal with these things much more efficiently yourself or via your broker than using the claims management company who have been known to recharge the insurance company with the cost of renting a BMW and providing a Citroen C1 (that’s nothing like a BMW).

The latest occurrence of this crime was a crooked staff member working for AVIVA Insurance who passed on details of accident claims to claims management companies. Drivers started getting calls from several claims management companies offering their services – free of charge following an accident.

They would say that they would look after the whole of the accident claim on your behalf. One gentleman had a simple bang into his neighbour’s car which was settled immediately, he then had up to 5 calls a day from accident management companies offering legal advice to cover his ‘injury claim’ when there clearly wasn’t one.

The AVIVA employee has been sacked and an investigation is being carried out by the police and AVIVA have confirmed that no personal or medical data has been passed on and apologised. Their advice, which is the same as mine if phoned, is simply say the claim has been settled and hang up.

They are charlatans trying to make a quick buck whilst increasing all our premiums. I’m sure, whilst greed exists, we haven’t heard the last of this type of crime. Just don’t get into a conversation whenever they call. By Graham Hill